Too often, those who don’t have ADD or ADHD, may have no real clues what it is like to have that diagnosis. Patients remind me of what it feels like to grow up knowing that there is something wrong with them but they hear comments from parents, teachers, family members and friends that all they have to do is “try harder”. They are told that they are lazy, stupid, or “not working up to your potential”.

Many patients with ADD or ADHD, are not stupid, nor lazy. They speak poignantly about the pain and suffering of working as hard as they could and still not accomplishing their goals which leads to an overwhelming sense of dejection.

Once they make a decision to seek professional help, this oftentimes changes. One patient told me this week after starting medication, “now I don’t go into things expecting to fail”. How powerful a statement. Imagine going into tasks with a pervasive sense of doom knowing that you are not ignorant, yet not being able to perform to the best of your ability? Perhaps it would be like entering a clapping contest with one hand tied behind your back, or running in the Indy 500 with a 4 cylinder engine while most of the other cars had 8 cylinders.

What is key here is for those who are in relationship with someone that may have ADD or ADHD, to have patience, awareness, understanding and compassion for their friends, family and or loved ones that may have this diagnosis. If they have not sought treatment, have a conversation with them and encourage them to contact someone who understands what that might feel like.
As always, I welcome your questions, comments, and feedback.